Healing Money Wounds. Alara Sage

Bob Wheeler:
Alara, thank you so much for joining us today. I’m so looking forward to this conversation.

Alara Sage:
I’m so happy to be here, Bob. Thank you.

Bob Wheeler:
So I’m going to just jump right in. You know, you work with a lot of women on embracing feminine power and sexuality. In your experience, what are some of the biggest money blocks or limiting beliefs that hold women back from fully stepping into their potential?

Alara Sage:
Yeah, there’s so much shame that is held in our bodies. And the shame is often something that most people aren’t even aware that they hold because the truth of shame, it can be passed down ancestrally. So we inherit a lot of energy from our mothers, from our grandmothers, the whole lineage, and shame is absolutely one of those.

And sometimes we don’t make the connection that shame about our bodies, shame about our sexual energy. can transfer over to shame about money. But it absolutely does, because a relationship is a relationship. I see money as a relationship. It is an entity. There is an energy. And we have a relationship to it. And the only core relationship that exists is the relationship to ourself.

So when we’re holding onto shame, that’s really held within the sexual organs of women, we’re not really allowing for deep intimacy within ourselves. And that equates very strongly to money. We don’t feel safe in money.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, that makes so much sense, you know, and I’m thinking about, you know, I think a lot of people don’t think about gender as playing a role or consciously playing a role. And I think about my grandmothers who were very sharp. but also a bit angry because they didn’t get the chance to go to college because they had to take care of their brothers and take care of dad.

And so by the time I came along, they were a little annoyed that they had to work three or four or five times harder than their male counterparts to actually get to show up in the world financially in ways that they wanted to show up.

Alara Sage:
Absolutely. And there’s oftentimes a deep seated feeling that they gave up their dreams, you know, and even, you know, we’re speaking about women here today, but this information works for men as well. I work with women primarily, but I have worked with men and I work with my partner all the time.

Bob Wheeler:
Hahaha!

Alara Sage:
And it goes both ways. So I just want any men listening that while I am pointing this conversation at women, men carry shame as well.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, and I think that’s so important. You know, I went and did this women’s empowerment group and I was speaking to about a hundred women and I walked up and some people started, some other women started saying, what are you doing here?

Alara Sage:
Hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
And I said, I can advocate and be an ally. And just because I’m a male doesn’t mean I might not have some information that’s relevant because we’re all in this together, regardless.

Alara Sage:
Yes. And you have a feminine energy. I have a masculine energy. It is the yin and yang that is within us all. And thank you for advocating for women. I would love to have you on my stage.

Bob Wheeler:
We all need to advocate for each other for sure, for sure. So money, you talk about money being an energy, which I agree, it’s a form of energy, and we need to learn to consciously direct it. For those that are new to the concept, can you explain what it means to treat money as an energy rather than a physical currency?

Alara Sage:
Well, like you just said the word currency, right? Energy is a, excuse me, money is a current of energy. So if you literally think of like our actual physical reality of how does money work, right? It moves from one individual to the next. It is a moving entity. A couple of things that money doesn’t like.

Money doesn’t like stagnation. Not to say we can’t invest and have savings. When we invest our money, it’s still moving. But stagnation is just like water. When water sits and gets stagnant, it gets toxic. Money loves to move. It loves to continue to circulate. And so for ourselves, it’s just like anything. Our ability to receive. And again, for women, that’s very, very challenging to truly receive. And like you’re speaking to your grandmother, a lot of the, again, the very ancestral energy of women is like, give, give.

Take care of everybody around you. Take care of yourself last, which really cuts down, shuts down the receptive capacity of a woman. Then you add in the shame, and now she’s really not able to fully receive. And so our ability to receive money is the same as our ability to receive love, to receive attention, to receive validation and like even compliments. Right. And we have to be able to receive really in order to give in a way that isn’t martyrdom.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, I absolutely can see somebody that’s hoarding the money, right? Their

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
body’s like, yeah, let it come in, let it stay for a little bit, let it be

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
of service, and

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
then let it go. But many of us are like, oh, I can’t let it go, or I can’t let it in.

Alara Sage:
Yeah. Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
It’s,

Alara Sage:
Yes, money is a power. You know, it has

Bob Wheeler:
yeah.

Alara Sage:
a lot of, like, let’s be really real. Right? Money is very, very powerful. And if we try to deny that it’s powerful, we’re just really rejecting the truth of it. And power is, again, something that is really challenging for a lot of women to hold in their bodies because it is something that, as far as, again, for women, it hasn’t really been on our planet for about 5,000 years. And so to be able to allow a lot of money to come into your space is to be able to allow a lot of power into your space as well.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And I want to just really articulate what you just said about being in our bodies, right? We hold our shame, our stress, our trauma physically in our body. And so it’s not just about talking about it. It’s about releasing the energy or the trauma or the tensions. I do a lot of workshops where we do a lot of experiential stuff because we’re holding it, many of us unconsciously. in our physical bodies. It’s not some esoterical thing. It’s literally in our bodies.

Alara Sage:
Yes, let it go, let it go, right?

Bob Wheeler:
Hahaha,

Alara Sage:
It’s

Bob Wheeler:
fudge.

Alara Sage:
just like what I said, it’s truly that stagnation. And it’s something for people to understand that when we hold it in our bodies, it becomes stagnant. And it becomes toxic. And it turns into disease and illness or injury.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. Let it go.

Alara Sage:
Let it go.

Bob Wheeler:
Now you shared with us before this podcast that you had the unfortunate experience of having all your money stolen from you. Can you walk us through how you navigated that challenge?

Alara Sage:
So I have a couple of extra layers to it that I have privy to in the sense that I am deeply connected to my intuitive being. And so I can’t blame anybody because I was actually told by my higher self that it was going to happen. And

Bob Wheeler:
Mm.

Alara Sage:
I had credit cards and I would normally, I would pay off the credit cards every single month. And for some reason, I was really being triggered in a lack mentality. and I wasn’t paying off my credit card. This had only been going on for like a month, but my higher self was like, pay off your credit card, pay everything off, like your money’s gonna go.

And I was just so resistant and I didn’t listen, which is like so hilarious to me because I really listened to my intuition. And I just wanted to say that because, you know, I even knew it was gonna happen. I had certainty

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
that it was gonna happen. So yeah, then when it happened, you know, it was like, it was still a big blow. Right. It was still a big blow. I’m not going to pretend like, oh, it was all fine and dandy because it wasn’t. It triggered deep fear within me. And I remember just collapsing to my knees, just being like, holy fuck. You know, like, I have no

Bob Wheeler:
You

Alara Sage:
money.

Bob Wheeler:
can say

Alara Sage:
Not

Bob Wheeler:
it.

Alara Sage:
only do I have no money, I just stuck myself into debt. Right. And like, my body literally was shaking with fear. Right. And. At the same time, there was a deep knowing that, OK, this is just a process. But again, I’m not going to override the sense of fear that I had.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
And what that really did was it really forced me to face my relationship with money. Before that, I had money. And I did not grow up wealthy. I grew up not poor, but we did not have a lot of money. And then through my life, I’ve always had money. I haven’t been super wealthy, but I’ve always had it. And therefore, I was able to bypass a lot of my true deep subconscious beliefs around money. And was even pulling a six figure business easily.

And because of that, I wasn’t really facing what was going on. And in my opinion, that’s why it happened. And so. Wow, I had to have a conversation with money. I called in the entity of money and I asked it, what is our relationship like? And money was like, it’s one-sided. You just want me to show up.

You just ask and expect me to show up. There’s no gratitude there. There’s no honoring. It’s totally one-sided. And I was like, oh my god. It was really obvious. And the truth was. Was? That wasn’t the only relationship that was happening in.

Bob Wheeler:
Hehehehehe

Alara Sage:
Ah, right? Hard pill to swallow.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, yeah. I mean money is a doorway to so many other aspects of what’s going on in our lives.

Alara Sage:
Yeah, so it was about getting really real with my relationships, my relationship with myself, my relationship with my partner, and how I had this tendency to half heart those spaces of intimacy. And like, yeah, I’ll show up when I feel like it. I’ll show up to the level that I desire and screw you. And

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
so, yeah, I had to dig deep and open up spaces that were really uncomfortable for me to be able to. deepen my sense of intimacy with, again, myself, my partner, friends, family, everybody, and of course, money.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. Well, it makes me think of two questions. The first one is, and I know we’ve all done this and I’ve gotten much better about it. This desire to prove ourselves right. Oh, this is going to be really bad for me. Let’s go down this path and confirm it. I will lose everything. I’m going to go down this path just so I can be right. Versus,

Alara Sage:
Mm hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
most of the time these days, I start to go down a path. I say, wow, this feels not in service. this feels like a really

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
bad idea. I’m just gonna turn around and walk back and I’m not gonna find out if I’m right. I’m just gonna trust it. So I’m wondering, like, do you find that to be true with the people you work with, the women you work with, sometimes this unconscious self-sabotage of, I’m gonna prove myself that I’m unworthy. I’m gonna prove that this shame is validated.

Alara Sage:
Absolutely, and that was part of my process as well. Absolutely. Yes, yes, that I’m not worthy. Yes, yes, 100%. Well, and

Bob Wheeler:
And, and yeah, go ahead.

Alara Sage:
it is very subconscious, and it is the way that we keep ourselves safe. Most of this work has a lot to do with our nervous system, because our nervous system’s… I would say like 99% of humanity is walking around with a very dysregulated nervous system. They feel very, very unsafe.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
And when we are moving into spaces where we are expanding ourselves or offering ourselves expansion or anything that’s like we speak of really in alignment, right? Because things that are in alignment are going to offer us expansion. Whoa, like put on the brakes. Like, whoa.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
That’s so scary, you know? And like, our default system is like, no, no. Backpedal, backpedal, backpedal. And that’s not self-sabotage. And it’s amazing how good we are. You know, we are creators of our reality. And I always point to my clients, look how powerful you are. Look how you created that whole scenario outside of yourself, seemingly. Right? You could blame it on that person. You could blame it on the, oh, this thing happened with this person. It had nothing to do with me. Oh, yes, it did. It had everything to do with you. You created it so that you

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
would self-sabotage yourself. Like, that’s fucking magnificence. Excuse my French.

Bob Wheeler:
Absolutely. And I’m And actually, just to name for people listening right now that are saying, that’s true for everybody else, but me, that’s your self-sabotage taking yourself out. And so get uncomfortable and hear some truth because that’s what’s going to push us forward. We have to get so uncomfortable that we have to move from it. Or we’re just going to stay in it because it’s not that bad.

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
So the second question I have is. Do you think in an unconscious way when all the money went and you heard the voice telling you, this isn’t going to go well, it’s going to go. Is there a part of you that was unconsciously pushing that money away?

Alara Sage:
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, that’s why I didn’t listen.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
That’s

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
100% why I didn’t listen. That’s why I already hadn’t. Before I started hitting the messages, I already hadn’t started paying my bills, my credit

Bob Wheeler:
I hate

Alara Sage:
card.

Bob Wheeler:
it.

Alara Sage:
Like again, I did that every single month. And all of a sudden, I wasn’t doing it. And then the message was coming through, like, pay your bills, clarify. Like, you’re not in alignment right now. And I just snowballed into it. And. I want to also say that sometimes that’s where the power is. Sometimes we need those big slaps in the face. I clearly needed it because I wasn’t listening.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
I was subconsciously not listening before that and ignoring my deep-seated relationship with money. And then when it started to really surface, I was still ignoring it. So did I need

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
a slap? Yes, I needed it. Did I get one? Absolutely.

Bob Wheeler:
Okay, that was a slap. Well, you know, I’m wondering sometimes, you know, and you talk about sexuality and all these different things. Sometimes just doing the right thing doesn’t feel very sexy. Oh, I keep making

Alara Sage:
Hmm

Bob Wheeler:
the right choices. Oh, I keep doing, not a lot of drama there. Oh, this is just boring because it’s, oh, I’m doing the right things. My money’s working for me. I’m in relationship. I need some drama. I need an epic move to happen. And then we sometimes create drama so we can go, oh, I feel the drama, I feel alive.

Alara Sage:
Yeah, yeah, I don’t feel that so much for myself. I think being in alignment and ecstatic in our bliss is sexy AF, personally.

Bob Wheeler:
Hahaha

Alara Sage:
I love being and but I love challenge too. So I don’t personally feel like I need to create drama to feel sexy.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
I love challenge to me challenge is sexy. I mean, getting slapped

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
to me is sexy, but also You know, even the challenges that come through without those hardcore slaps, to me, are absolutely

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
delicious. And so, to me, the plethora of the human experience is really, really sexy. And there are absolutely people who love drama. And I’ve definitely worked with people like that, who just continuously create it, rather than seeking that flow and that ease, you know, because life can be challenging, and life is challenging. We want it to be challenging. Otherwise, it is boring. Right? We want that challenge.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
And that doesn’t mean it has to be painful in a struggle. There’s a difference.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, absolutely. And I, you know, it’s interesting because I know you’ve studied tantra and all that. And it, there is something about finding pleasure and sensuality

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
in, uh, touching a flower, eating a grape, right? Feeling the earth on our feet. That like all of life is related to sensuality, sexuality. And I think if we’re not comfortable with our sexuality, then we’re gonna, I don’t wanna feel this. And if money is tied to sexuality, I don’t wanna feel this either, right? Because it’s beyond our comfort zone.

Alara Sage:
Absolutely, 100%. I mean, money feels good, you know. And again, I mean, you said that so beautifully. And if pleasure is one of those things that we’re not gifting ourselves, which is definitely was me. I mean, for a long time, I did not have orgasm most of my life. And then, you know, when I was orgasming for a long time, it was like, very, like I had to really focus.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
It had to be so precise. And then it was like, Oh my god, it happened, you know, and then I had a spiritual awakening where I had an awakening of my Kundalini. And I had a full body orgasm in the moment.

And I had never had a full body orgasm before. And I was like, wow, like this is truly what is possible for humanity. And that’s what really started my journey on the understanding. of what we’re really capable and from my perspective, we’re capable of this real ecstatic bliss that is highly orgasmic.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And it is possible, so do the work

Alara Sage:
Yes,

Bob Wheeler:
and discover

Alara Sage:
yes.

Bob Wheeler:
it. It’s pretty, pretty awesome. Alara, we’re gonna take just a moment to test your nerve. Test your nerve is brought to you by the Money Nerve. To our listeners, your money problems need a hero. So grab your cape and try to test your nerve for financial solutions and our free quiz. Be your own financial hero. All right, here we go. Are you ready?

Alara Sage:
I’m ready.

Bob Wheeler:
What do you own that you wouldn’t buy for its current market value?

Alara Sage:
Oh my God. What do I own that I wouldn’t buy? I can’t think of anything off of my head.

Bob Wheeler:
car or house.

Alara Sage:
I don’t have a house right now. Car, I would buy my car again for its current market value. I think some of my jewelry.

Bob Wheeler:
Okay. Alright. Yeah, it’s fun. It sparkles. Um, what is, um, what is key to embracing sensuality?

Alara Sage:
permission. Saying yes to it.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. More pleasure in life means more.

Alara Sage:
More intimacy with self and with others and with your life and with the moment.

Bob Wheeler:
Do you, does your spending reflect your values and priorities?

Alara Sage:
It does, it’s getting clearer. I would say I’m still clarifying that and that was one of the things that it was very erratic and you know I’ve learned to clarify my

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah,

Alara Sage:
energy and where I’m putting my energy. That means my focus, that means my attention and that does mean my money. Whereas before it was very just scattered and sporadic. So I’m getting better, but I don’t claim to be there just yet.

Bob Wheeler:
yeah. When it comes to money and finances, what emotion do you experience most?

Alara Sage:
Oh, I definitely feel the emotion of joy and pleasure. And then I also really feel fear.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And both can be true.

Alara Sage:
Yes, they go hand in hand sometimes.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And I think that’s, you know, one of the biggest things when I’m working with people, um, people say, I I’m terrible with money. Um, you know, I want to learn about money, but I’m really bad with it. Right. Or I’m, I really want to do better, but I’m so afraid. And I really am not a fan of the word, but you know, I like, and I.

Alara Sage:
I’m the same exact way.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, I want to be able to hold both truths. I’m really

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
scared. I’m feeling some joy. I want to show up differently. And there’s both. I can feel fear and feel joy and excitement. And so I think that’s important for people. It was very hard for me to be in a… I was in this process group, you know, and somebody come in and they were devastated and I was feeling joy. Well, now I can’t have my joy because they’re devastated.

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
Or…

Alara Sage:
Right.

Bob Wheeler:
They’re having joy and I can’t bring my devastation because I don’t want to bring every, like I’m measuring how I need to respond to accommodate the room instead of actually owning that I can have joy and fear and all of the in-betweens at the same time.

Alara Sage:
So well put, so well put. And that’s the human experience. We are here to experience all of it. And it’s when we’re willing to experience all of it that we actually experience the wholeness of self.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And it doesn’t mean we have to wallow in it, right? We can,

Alara Sage:
Oh,

Bob Wheeler:
I

Alara Sage:
no.

Bob Wheeler:
can be

Alara Sage:
Mm

Bob Wheeler:
angry. I can be

Alara Sage:
hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
scared. It doesn’t mean I have to go and stay there.

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
I can just say, oh, yeah, I know what that’s like. Not a fun place and I’ll probably go there again. Let’s move on to something that feels a little better, but all of them are necessary and real. So

Alara Sage:
Yeah,

Bob Wheeler:
to pretend

Alara Sage:
just let

Bob Wheeler:
we’re

Alara Sage:
it

Bob Wheeler:
not

Alara Sage:
go.

Bob Wheeler:
angry, to pretend, yeah. So that leads me to, you know, you talk about joy. Things bring you joy. You’re in a relationship and it wasn’t bringing you joy. And a lot of times when I’m in a relationship, when I’m doing things that I need to do or want to do, the question I’m always asking myself, am I having fun? Is this enjoyable?

Am I having joy? That doesn’t mean 24 seven every second. In general, overall, Am I having fun? Because if I’m not, if I’m not getting joy, what’s the point? What do you… thoughts on that?

Alara Sage:
Yeah, I mean, it’s one of the things I talk about is being lit, right? It’s important. Always my question for myself is, does this light me up? And so when I’m making a decision about something, does it light me up? And the truth is, it’ll be a very clear yes or no when you’re really honest with yourself. Sometimes we’re like, well, it kind of lights me up. Well, that’s not a yes, right? Or

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
like I had a client yesterday and she was like, is it draining you? And she’s like, oh, well, I mean, sometimes it drains me. And I’m like, well, then it drains you. Like, right? Like I’m not saying that it doesn’t also like not bring you other things, but it definitely drains you. And so for me, it’s about like understanding that sensation in your body of like, what does joy feel like?

What does that sensation like? Oh my gosh, yes. And it’s not exactly, yes, excitement is part of that, but it’s deeper than that.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
It’s like this lit up feeling like, oh my gosh, I just want to say yes to this. I’m so. expanded, right? When I think about doing that or receiving that or creating that or being with that person. And as we have these conversations with ourselves, that’s where we really get into that alignment.

Because when we follow that breadcrumb trail of what lights us up, that’s really in alignment with our heart’s desires, our soul’s path. And that’s where the magic happens. That’s where synchronicity happens. That’s where I mean, and then on top of it, like you’re actually enjoying your life, right?

Bob Wheeler:
Right. Oh, oh that. Enjoy my life.

Alara Sage:
Imagine that.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, no, absolutely. And I, you know, as you’re talking about that and I’m thinking, and I know you walked away from a relationship and I know many people struggle. Am I in the right relationship? Am I in the right job? Is this serving me?

And for me, I think it’s important to name for myself that if I walk out of a relationship, if I leave my job, I still want to do it with love, compassion, empathy. I want to think about impact. I don’t want to just say to people, this is my truth and get the frick out of my way. And like, I don’t care how this impacts you. For me, I still want to be intentional in the choices to move towards what, what lights me up, um, and, and hold that space because there is impact.

And I think a lot of people sometimes don’t move forward because of the impact or because I’m going to hurt their feelings instead of owning what’s true for me. Um, And so I think it’s important to name, we can do both. We can hold what’s true for us and we can do it compassionately and understand impact and still move through and forward to take care of ourselves.

Alara Sage:
Absolutely. Yes. And I’ve done the other, I’ve gone the other way. You know, when I was really learning to own my truth, I didn’t know how to do it compassionately. My only

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
way to do it was like, I got to fucking make this, excuse me again, I got to make this decision.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
And like, I just, I don’t know how to, I only just, I can only focus on making the decision. And since then, I’ve absolutely transformed into compassion. which is an opening of the heart, right? And

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
the ability to move through these things in a space that, yeah, not only serves my truth, but actually serves the truth of all that are involved.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, and you bring up a good point. I was messy. I was very messy

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
in the beginning.

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
And so I welcome messy. And I also welcome curiosity. So that we can say, wow, that’s interesting. Wow, that’s really curious that I, like, I haven’t mastered this thing yet. Do I want to? Do I like it? You know, being messy. Be messy. Like, move forward. and work towards those other things, because it is gonna be messy. And to your point, we’re all

Alara Sage:
Yeah,

Bob Wheeler:
gonna start out messy.

Alara Sage:
I often see it like a hose. If you’ve kinked your truth and your expression for so long, when you first open that hose, it goes, pleh.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
If that’s okay, you got to just get sometimes through that pleh and then you’ll get into a rhythm of yourself. So yeah, I love how you say allow the messy and trust that as you move through that, you will find your voice, you will find your rhythm, you will find your own unique way.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, I think for me, as I’ve gotten more conscious in all of this, is to check in with what’s my purpose, what’s my goal in doing what I’m doing. So that, yeah, I’m going to be messy, but if I know that I’m doing it for my higher self, if I’m doing it for the benefit of maybe even the other person, that I’m doing it with kindness or with gratitude or whatever it is.

Um, so that even if it’s messy, and even if I do some damage, there’s room for repair. If I know I’m not doing just to take somebody out, but I’m doing this because it’s actually in service to myself, somebody else to the world.

Alara Sage:
Yes, the why. It’s a question I always ask myself. It comes through a lot, just like, why? My higher self will just be like, why are you doing this? And I’ll answer quickly, and then my higher self just goes, why? And I

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
know that, oh, I’m supposed to dig a little deeper, OK.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, no, that’s I do a what, why, what. What do I want? Why do I want it? Why don’t I have it? What am I willing to do to get it? And that might mean, like, it can be anything. It can be something superficial, right? Why do I want it? I want everybody to think I’m cool. That’s important

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
information. Because if I’m pretending I’m doing it to be a philanthropist, but I really just want people to know me to be cool. It’s important that I know that.

Alara Sage:
Or because you just want it, right? Like, I want the fancy sports car. Why? Because I want a fancy sports car. Like, not just because, again, yeah, I love how you say that. Because I think a lot of people say, like, oh, I want money so I can give more. And if that’s really what you feel in your body and in your heart, then fantastic.

And if there’s that and there’s other reasons that you want to celebrate your life with the pleasure of money, then by all means, I love how you say, yeah, own that. I’ve worked with that myself as well, because I felt like I had to be that before. And then

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
when I started this relationship with money, it was like, money told that to me. It was like, why are you using me? What do you really want from me? And I had to really sit with that. And it’s like, I really just want to enjoy life through our relationship together. And it was like, then own that. Stop saying you’re just going to give me away the more that you get of me. It was like.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, I think it’s hard sometimes. I know it was hard for me, but it’s hard to own the truth about things sometimes. It’s

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
like, no, you know, it’s just better if I’m doing it for these other reasons. And what I’ve come to realize is it’s probably more important for me to be authentic than it is for me to present well. And not everybody’s going to like me. And that’s totally cool. But if I’m pretending… Oh, and it’s gonna come through anyway, because people can smell BS. So I can tell, oh, I love you so much.

I was in this program and I went in believing, you know, people like me, I’m a really nice guy. And I was in, there was a person in the class I hated. I wanted to kill them. They triggered me so bad because they were reflecting things about myself that I didn’t wanna own. And it was so in my face that I couldn’t really say, oh, I love everybody.

No, I don’t. I have judgments. I have not always the best intentions. I try, I show up. But it was a great reflection back that the truth was, I don’t like everybody. I’m not here to get along with everybody. And if people are doing things that are against my principles, I’m gonna speak up and I’m going to. draw a line and I think that’s difficult for people. It was for me.

Alara Sage:
That’s how we transform shame, right? Because shame is where we’re not looking. It’s like the part of ourselves that we’re hiding away, and we don’t want anybody to see. That’s what shame is. And it’s very,

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
very low vibration. It’s right near death, actually, on the vibrational scale. And the interesting thing is it drives so much unconscious behavior. Because if we are holding this part, it’s almost like you have this really big skeleton in the closet, and you will do anything it takes to stop people from opening those doors. The

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
amount of. energy that you will put into the facade, into protection, into keeping people away, whatever it is, right? There’s various different ways that we work to keep that version of ourselves safe. Now, if you’re authentic and you’re like, whoa, guess what, wow, was I just not in a state of judgment? Was I not in a state of fear? Okay, I’m really, you know, then we’re just opening our doors and we’re saying,

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
this is who I am. And we don’t have to protect ourselves anymore. And that’s what transmutes that shame. And now we can actually be in our power. And now we can actually receive more money. Now we can actually receive more love. And we can actually enjoy the pleasures of life, because that shame isn’t that little black seed in our closet.

Bob Wheeler:
Yes, I mean, just the more we can shine the light on that and bring our shame into the light, the more nobody can use it against us.

Alara Sage:
Absolutely.

Bob Wheeler:
Because we’ve already exposed it. We know.

Alara Sage:
Yep. That’s what I always say. It’s like the warrior that shows all his wounds. This is what I’ve got. Now that you know, I don’t have to try to pretend like you don’t know, and there’s nothing to hide.

Bob Wheeler:
There’s a lot of freedom in that. Because

Alara Sage:
It’s liberation.

Bob Wheeler:
you can actually

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
just breathe. Ah, I’m not having to hide that anymore. Such a relief. Yeah. It’s liberation, absolutely. Let me ask you, for women that are seeking a deeper connection to their sexuality and their feminine power that have been holding back, how does all of that, how does their sexuality, how does their power, how does that impact their spending, their saving, their earning, self-worth?

Alara Sage:
Yeah, such a great question. So the first thing to understand about our sexual power is Sexual energy is a form of Shakti. So Kundalini Shakti is your creative life force energy, period. Everybody has it, your energy to create. So all sexual energy is creative life force energy. Not all creative life force energy is sexual energy.

We all know our sexual energy is literally for creation. Yes, it’s meant for creation of life. It’s also for the creation of pleasure. It’s also. You know, it’s very, as I think probably a lot of listeners could attest to, magnetic. Sexual energy is very magnetic. You know, it’s like I get the image of, you know, when you’re watching a movie and they always like show somebody who just had really good sex, right? They come out and they’re

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
glowing, right? And they’re just like cruising through their life like, woohoo, what’s up, right? And they’re glowing.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
And that’s that radiance of our creative life force energy embodied. That energy is extremely magnetic. And magnetic in a good way. Magnetic to our truth, magnetic to our authentic self. So when women are shut down on their sexual energy, this doesn’t mean that they are shut down to sex. Women can be shut down in their sexual energy and still have great sex.

I want to make that really clear. My experience wasn’t that. but I’ve worked with a lot of women who are like, oh, yeah, orgasm’s super easy. And we still find a ton of shame, a ton of shutdown, a ton of unavailability. First and foremost, are not really able to, as I said, receive. There is a level of, and you can equate this to the act of sex, even though, again, I’m speaking symbolically here.

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
Women have to surrender. We have to open and receive. That’s the feminine energy within all of us. Again, regardless of your sexual identity, the feminine is the negatively charged polarity. She’s all about literally opening and receiving. So if you don’t feel safe to really, really receive, you’re going to push money away. Or let it drizzle in. Or you might allow it in big chunks and then push it away. And then allow it in big chunks, and you’re going to control the input.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
Then conversely, on the creative side, because the masculine side, the positively charged side, how do we take that energy, that creative life force energy, and actualize it into our reality? Again, if you don’t feel safe in your body, you’re not going to feel safe to hold the energy of wealth. Because wealth is power, again. And I’m not just talking monetary

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
money wealth, all wealth. It is.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
It is power. And when we don’t feel safe for that, we will spend it. We will get it out of my space. I can’t hold it. And it is of the nervous system. It is of the pelvis and the womb. And or you will over gift, over give, over create. If you’re an entrepreneur, you will undercharge, under receive, and

Bob Wheeler:
Right.

Alara Sage:
over give. That’s a really common thing of female. entrepreneurs, these are all examples of the way, but we can really think of it as how well do you receive and then how clear are you on your giving and creating with that energy?

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, I love that. It makes, I was thinking about that comfort level, you know, for anybody, male or female, with their bank balance. Like, I’m good with $1,000 in my account, or I’m good with not being overdrawn and learning to receive. And so when clients tell me they’ve or they just got a huge bonus. They’re like, what do I do? And I always tell them, put it in your bank account and just sit with it for four weeks and just go in and look at the money. And they’re like, what? And I’m like, yeah, no,

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
we need to move it along. I’m like, no, just let it sit there, talk to it and get comfortable allowing more money in your life. And that is a tall order for a lot of people because… Ooh. It’s sitting with me and now I have to deal with it. If I could just pay some bills or give to a charity and just get it out of my bank account so I don’t have to tolerate what I’m feeling.

Alara Sage:
Absolutely. It’s a real thing. It’s a real energetic vibration that comes with a very strong signature to it.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, yeah, for sure. What advice, what’s your advice? I just said that five different times. All right. What is your advice for aligning our spending and financial lives with our deepest values and desires? And how can we help create a more fulfilling embodied life?

Alara Sage:
My advice is similar to my own personal experience and similar to what you were saying. Start to have a conversation with money. And if you’re not into the spiritual energetic thing, you could literally have money in front of you. And start to have a conversation. What are you feeling when that money is sitting there? What do you feel when money shows up in your life?

What do you feel when you spend money? These are all. conversations with money. If you’re more tuned into the spiritual side, you could just call the entity of money into your space and sit there and have a conversation with money. Because you want to be able to see yourself in the relationship. Again,

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
how are you truly showing up in this relationship? Remember, relationship is a circle of energy. It is a give and take. So is there harmony? within that give and take. It doesn’t need to be balanced, per se. Harmony, harmony of movement and how that is working. And if there is disharmony, why is that disharmony?

What are the belief structures there that you’re holding that’s really creating the disharmony? So yeah, having a relationship, having a conversation with yourself. And one more thing I will add, noticing in your body where it shows up.

Because it’s not just about the body. If you just be really, really clear, when you are having a conversation about money, if you have limiting beliefs around money, it will trigger your body. You will feel some level of discomfort or like in your body, right? And so what that shows you is like, if you’re having a conversation with money and you’re like, oh my God, my lower back is hurting.

That’s where you’re holding that limiting belief. It could show up the next day like, oh my gosh, my neck. Why is my neck? I must have slept wrong on it is always

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
what people say. I’m like, oh, no, no. What’s been in your space, right? Notice where it shows up in your body. How does your body feel when you’re having this conversation? Because the ultimate is that you have this conversation with money, and it’s very intimate, and it’s very pleasurable.

And you can be like, oh, I have orgasms with money now. You know, like, yes, yes. Let’s have this really. beautiful energetic movement together, me and money. But that wasn’t the way that it was. You know, it was when money came into my space, there was a contraction in my space, a close down, a withdrawal.

So really being able to notice those sensations in your body is very, very informative for you. So you can learn to breathe into that space, breathe into your body. Oh, give yourself permission to relax. Give yourself permission to what? To let go.

Bob Wheeler:
Absolutely. And for the people that are sitting there that might be saying, money’s very black and white, very straightforward, very logical. I don’t embody my money. The examples for me and the reason I actually wrote the book Money Nerve is because it’s in us.

If you win the lottery ticket, you win a hundred bucks or 50 bucks, even five bucks, you’re like, and you feel euphoric and you feel the energy. But if you uh, hand over a credit card at a department store and you get declined or at a restaurant or your bank account is overdrafted and somebody points it out and you feel the shame in your stomach, in your shoulder, like, you know, we want to vomit. Those are real.

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
It is real. It is real.

Alara Sage:
Absolutely. Yes. Or paying a big bill, specifically ones that aren’t bringing you like, not like paying for something, you know, vacation. It’s like something came through and, oh, I have to pay for this. And it’s like, yeah. Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. And if you can, write those checks with joy. Ah, I’m

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
writing my mortgage check. Amazing! I can pay my property tax. I can pay my rent. Whatever it is. I can feed my dog. I can afford to pay the vet. Like to be able to find the gratitude in that I can at least manage it.

Alara Sage:
Yeah, that’s where the relationship, because every time we do that, we’re saying to money, thank you. Thank you, money,

Bob Wheeler:
Thank you.

Alara Sage:
for working through me. Thank you. Look what you’re doing for me, money. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah, huge.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, because many of us, it’s one-sided.

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
I want to focus on money when it’s about me, but when money’s like, I want to teach you something, I’m like, yeah, I’m not interested.

Alara Sage:
Hahaha!

Bob Wheeler:
I’ll get back to you when it’s more convenient, and I might need you again.

Alara Sage:
Ghosting money. That’s gonna be a ghosting money.

Bob Wheeler:
And… Sort of like prayer sometimes. I think I need

Alara Sage:
Catfishing.

Bob Wheeler:
prayer now.

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
Exactly, exactly. Well, Alar, we are at our M&M moment, our sweet spot, money and motivation. I’m wondering if you can give the listeners a practical tip or a piece of wealth wisdom, something that has worked for you that they can implement in their lives today, this week.

Alara Sage:
Yes, absolutely. I had one earlier. And now it’s gone. So let me fill in to the new one. The image that I’m getting is to. For those people who, again, maybe these concepts are a little bit vague or a little bit like they don’t really know how to work with the energy that I’m speaking to, sit down and write out your letter to money.

Write out how you feel. As again, think of it as a person. If money was a person, what would you say to it? And I invite you to do this with a lot of depth. Bob and I have been speaking to here. Be really authentic. WTF, money. Where have you been? Right? Why the F don’t you show up? Like, be really, like show up in the conversation, right? Tell money how you feel. Tell money what you’re experiencing. And have that letter written.

Because a lot can come up in those spaces. It can be very emotional, which is you letting go. You releasing that. When we express, we let go.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah. I love that. I think it’s so important to have these conversations with money. Um, I, you know, I encourage people to go in and have fun with it. You know, if, if you don’t have to make it so serious, like, why do you hate me? But like, you know, yeah, what the F, um, come on. Uh, but to be playful about it, go talk to your friends, have them come and stay at my wallet or my bank account.

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
Right. Uh, Open up your purse, open up your wallet. It’s a fun exercise I do is I’ve got a group of people, I’m like, everybody open up your purse and wallet, we’re gonna take a look. And people are like, no, I haven’t been to the ATM, there’s no money in my wallet, right? Or like, you know, I

Alara Sage:
Perfect.

Bob Wheeler:
discovered I had like 30 gift cards that I’ve not used because I’m hoarding them for the right time. What? Like, now is the right time. So I love that you talk about that. And you know, Laura, what I keep hearing is bringing it to consciousness.

Why? What am I doing? What’s going on? And because if we keep it in the shadows, it’s going to keep us in the shadows. And the more we can bring our shame, our fears to light, the more liberation there is, the more we can go out in the world and say, Yeah, I’ve got all that, too. And I’m still going to show up. I’m going to show up. I’m going to be slightly messy. I’m going to show up. I’m going to come and I’m going to bring my heart.

And maybe everybody’s not going to welcome it. I’m going to show up. People may not want to hear what I have to say. I’m going to show up anyway. And so this piece about just to keep asking the why, and then trusting. You know, you’ve trusted yourself a lot.

And even in the moments when you didn’t trust yourself, to be able to say, oh, yeah, I’m tracking that. I didn’t trust it. I knew this was going to come down here. I guess part of me wanted to be right. And I’m not going to take myself out. with this. It’s just another lesson to bring me closer to who I am.

Alara Sage:
Absolutely.

Bob Wheeler:
So I love it, I love it. Where can people find you on social media, on the internet, and any calls to action? You’ve got some good stuff to offer people.

Alara Sage:
Yeah, absolutely. Alara Sage everywhere. So Facebook, Instagram, alarasage.com is my website. I’m on LinkedIn. I’m on Twitter. I do actually have my own podcast now. It’s called The Ecstatic Woman. I just launched it on Monday, so I’m really ecstatic about that.

And yeah, absolutely, you can check into my call to action, which is breathing into connection and power. So I teach people how to breathe into their body for this connection, right? This connection to ourselves, this connection to money, to intimacy, to all of these energies that we

Bob Wheeler:
Awesome.

Alara Sage:
have available to us. And teaching us how to breathe into our bodies, to open ourselves up, to release, to let go of that shame so that you can create those deep levels of intimacy and connection that we all deeply, deeply yearn for.

Bob Wheeler:
I love that. And I, you know, when you talk about breathing, I, you know, I can breathe, ha ha, you know, but when you go into those deep breathing exercises, you can go into altered states, you’re going to feel a whole lot more. I used to go in kicking and screaming to these breathing workshops because I’m like, I don’t want to feel any of this. I did, but I didn’t.

Right. You’ve got to push yourself because sometimes it’s just not always Initially fun and exciting but the payoff when you work through it is amazing and breathing You know, I’ve been on many financial shows and they’ll say well, what would you do with this that and I say breathe I always say breathe

Alara Sage:
Mm-hmm.

Bob Wheeler:
first Because then I can

Alara Sage:
Yeah.

Bob Wheeler:
actually show up and be present and go from there.

Alara Sage:
Yes.

Bob Wheeler:
So I

Alara Sage:
Yes, absolutely.

Bob Wheeler:
People sign

Alara Sage:
Yeah,

Bob Wheeler:
up

Alara Sage:
and

Bob Wheeler:
and

Alara Sage:
what

Bob Wheeler:
learn how

Alara Sage:
I

Bob Wheeler:
to

Alara Sage:
teach

Bob Wheeler:
breathe

Alara Sage:
is not like, I don’t teach like breath work in that sense.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah.

Alara Sage:
into our bodies and utilizing our breath as bringing ourselves into our body. So yes.

Bob Wheeler:
Yeah, absolutely. Well, Alara, I have just had such a great time talking with you. Thank you so much for showing up and giving us your perspective. It’s much needed in the world. So thank you.

Alara Sage:
Yeah, thank you. This has been really fun. You’re a wonderful host.

Bob Wheeler:
Alright that was