Fight, Flight or Freeze. Dr. Amy Novotny

[00:00:30] Bob Wheeler: Welcome to another episode of Money You Should Ask, where everyone has something they can teach you. I’m your host, Bob Wheeler, and in this episode, we’re going to explore, question, examine, converse, dig deep, expose, laugh, and cry about the money beliefs, money blocks, and life challenges of our next guest. Turn up the volume, listen, learn, and laugh.

[00:00:46] Our next guest is Dr. Amy Novotny. She founded PABR Institute with the mission to provide pain, stress, and anxiety relief to those who seek a naturalistic form of treatment when other treatment methods have fallen short. Her technique approach comes from her experience treating in a variety of settings and with a wide range of patient populations over the past 11 years.

[00:01:11] Her methods have helped countless people reduce and eliminate pain, stress, anxiety, orthopedic, surgeries, sleep issues, and the need for medications. She has coauthored two Amazon #1 Best-Selling books: Don’t Quit: Stories of Persistence, Courage and Faith, as well as Success Habits of Super Achievers, which both share her journey on how and why she developed the PABR Method.

[00:01:37] You also speak French, Spanish, and has a variety of interests, including running 40+ marathons, running 10 ultra marathons, including two 100 milers, jeez! An Ironman triathlon, and photographing wildlife and landscapes all over the world, which led several of her images being chosen as photos of the day, most notably at the National Geographic Your Shot World Top Photo of the Day. A lot of words, but this is so awesome!

[00:02:03] Amy, it is so awesome to have you here today.

[00:02:05] Amy Novotny: Thank you so much for having me on, Bob. I am so pleased and honored to be here.

[00:02:11] Bob Wheeler: Well, I first have to say, how did you get into, I know this isn’t even money-related. How did you get into running marathons? And when did you start?

[00:02:19] Amy Novotny: Well, I actually started running back in 2009. I had just gotten out of graduate school and started my first job, and I didn’t have to go to work until 10 in the morning for three days of the week. So I didn’t have anything in my rental home except a TV and a treadmill. So I started getting on a treadmill, watched Biggest Loser, and started running.

[00:02:39] And then from there, someone finally convinced me to do a half marathon, and once I did that, I said, “I’m never running a race again.” And some friends who were there at the finish line said, “This is awesome. You have to do a full marathon.” I said, “No, I hated every minute of it.” And a couple days later, she called me up and she said, “I have a favor, I just need you to say yes.”

[00:03:00] I said, “No, I never do that. I’m a person of my word. I won’t do it.” She said, “Just please, this one time.” I said, “Okay, what is it Karen?” She said, “Well, I signed you up for the San Diego Marathon. You have six months to train. Go.” That was the start of a very long history of marathons and ultras, so it’s her fault.

[00:03:19] Bob Wheeler: It’s her fault! Do you still talk to her?

[00:03:23] Amy Novotny: Absolutely! Barely.

[00:03:26] Bob Wheeler: Barely.

[00:03:27] Amy Novotny: Once a year now.

[00:03:28] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. That’s awesome. I, look, it is a, a mental race as much as a physical race. But that’s so awesome. I love that you do that. Now, one of the things, when we first connected that I really was interested in is that you grew up being taught that rich people are bad and everything should be free for everyone.

[00:03:48] Amy Novotny: Yes, absolutely.

[00:03:49] Bob Wheeler: I love the free part. Tell me a little bit about that.

[00:03:53] Amy Novotny: Well, so growing up, I grew up with my mom and one of my brothers in Arizona, and we lived in very, an apartment, not very well-off conditions. There were times we had 10 cent meals, we slept on this floor for most of my childhood and just on blankets, and my mom pinched and scraped everything.

[00:04:12] And she just had this belief that something bad had happened to her and she should be given things for free or she should take advantage of other people. And she just did not like anyone of wealth. She berated them, she had the mentality that they somehow hurt her in some way, and she should just be given things for free.

[00:04:35] And what was interesting is we never did food stamps that I was aware of, but she always took advantage of handouts. If we ever went somewhere, she, she’d say, “Get as many as possible.” We did coupons, and she’d make my brother and, and I stand in line and use coupons to get a six pack of Pepsi for, you know, 15 cents or whatever it was. Three for a dollar, whatever it was. And she just had this belief. And so I adopted that, cause that was the only thing I heard constantly day in and day out.

[00:05:10] Bob Wheeler: So then you were living in a place of fear or a place of scarcity? Is that really what happened?

[00:05:16] Amy Novotny: Absolutely. Just, the mindset of scarcity was so large. I mean, this sounds horrible, but she would keep food way past expiration date and have us eat it. I mean, we ate so much food that had freezer burn on it, or this sounds really bad, even flour or other grains that had those little worms in them. She would not want to throw it out. She said, “Sift through it, just get rid of it and we’re going to eat it.”

[00:05:42] And it was horrible. I do believe that a lot of times I got sick just because of the conditions we lived in.

[00:05:50] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. And did you, as you got older, I mean, do you still go like, relive some of that? Or have you let that go or, what’s the journey been?

[00:06:04] Amy Novotny: It’s been a hard journey. So when I first bought my first house and going through that. One, I turned on the AC, which felt absolutely amazing because we didn’t use AC, and growing up in Arizona where it was 115, 120, talk about brutal.

[00:06:20] So I said, you know what? I am going to have air conditioning on. And I think my body has shifted, so I don’t need it as cold as a lot of people do because of growing up and not having any AC and just being a sweaty mess all the time. But I did shift. I still, for the first 10 years of being on my own, I still was very cognizant about whatever I bought I used, but I tried to make sure it wasn’t past the expiration date.

[00:06:47] I was just very creative in cooking to make sure I didn’t do that. But then I’ve, I’ve shifted even more into an abundance mindset once I got around the right people. Who, it was a big transition to go from extreme scarcity into my own and being around people who had kind of a, a little bit of scarce mindset, but kind of a little bit more abundant.

[00:07:08] And then switching in the past several years, especially when I became an entrepreneur, into having more of the abundance mindset and not being so clingy to money on, oh my gosh, my life is going to end because, you know, I don’t have enough coming in or I have to use every single resource. So I’ve shifted a lot, so if I look at myself now versus when I was 18, 19 years old, I’m a completely and utterly different person.

[00:07:36] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, I can only imagine. Now let me ask you this, in spite of the scarcity and “rich people are bad” and all that going on, did you have the support of your mom to go out and do whatever you wanted? Was that, I mean, you’re a successful person. You’re a doctor. And you, you have written books and, there had to be either somewhere, some support along the way, or it was just deep in you that “I’m going to rise to the top.”

[00:08:04] Tell me about that part because a lot of people don’t get support or they get support in other areas, but not financially. So what was it like for you?

[00:08:14] Amy Novotny: It was deep seated in me. So when I was very young, I had this ability to observe and watch people and really self-reflect. I don’t know where that came from, but it did. I used to watch my mom and say, I will never be like her because she started going, her, her mental illness started showing up when I was in my teens.

[00:08:35] She started hoarding and then she got arrested for shoplifting, even though she had the money, she just wanted to collect things and she would spend all of our money. And then, you know, she took all of my savings from when I grew up and she took that. And so, I knew at a certain point in my teen years, I had to escape her because she was very controlling.

[00:08:56] She didn’t want me to go out. She didn’t want me to do anything. But I knew I had to free myself from her. And so I planned my escape by studying abroad, because I could see what she was doing was absolutely wrong. And I knew if I continued to be around her, that it was going to lead to a very bad place in life and I didn’t want to be there.

[00:09:16] So I studied as hard as I could. It was innate in me to study as hard as I could to get all straight A’s, to be top of the class, those types of things, so that I could escape. And I knew that I had to learn differently, get around different people in order to shift my life. And that’s really kind of what I did, because any way that I went in life, it was going to be, I had to do it my own.

[00:09:42] I didn’t get any college. In fact, I helped pay for her college and tutored her not the other way around. So I knew I had to build myself and learn. And I have to say, I didn’t know anything about personal development. I was just fumbling through life saying, “How can I make things better for myself and get around different people?” Because I didn’t learn it from her.

[00:10:06] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. And in hindsight, if you look back on those experiences. Extreme, not pleasant. Were there any gifts from that?

[00:10:17] Amy Novotny: Absolutely. I don’t fault her. I know that she was the way she was based on her prior experiences and that’s okay.

[00:10:25] I love her to death and she’s since passed away. And I told her, you know, “You did the best you could.” But I will take what I learned from those experiences and say, “Okay, I don’t like this. I need to shift this.” This also gave me a lot of motivation into helping other people who are in situations like me to realize that there’s another way to live life.

[00:10:48] And I now look for other people for support because I didn’t have that growing up. I know she loved me, but her love was a controlling love. And so I am very cognizant in my relationships now with people, that I accept them for who they are and support them for who they want to be, not the way that I want them to be or the way I think they should be.

[00:11:12] And so I learned a lot of lessons and I actually wouldn’t take that away. I wouldn’t change what I went through, because it’s helped me be more humble. It’s helped me be more gracious with myself and with others. And it’s helped me realize that I can survive a lot of hardship, which has helped me with growing a business and starting out with, from scratch, with no business experience.

[00:11:35] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. And I just, people out there listening, I just want to reiterate, it’s so important that the experiences that you have… Blaming our parents and staying angry forever, isn’t really going to do anything. And that they really are doing the best they can. And they, I, I really believe our parents don’t bring us into the world saying, “How can I harm them?”

[00:11:55] It’s really about, “How can I do this?” And a lot of them, you know, they have limited experience, they mess it up. But this piece about understanding that she’s not to blame and still understanding that it wasn’t that great. I think it’s really important for people out there, because if we get obsessed with the anger and the blame, it’s hard to move forward.

[00:12:18] Amy Novotny: Completely agree. And I’ve seen evidence of that in certain family members where they’re stuck. And I guess also, I saw my mom was stuck on her past and I knew I didn’t want to be that way. And I’ve seen now, other family members who are also stuck in their past, and I said to myself, “I don’t want to be that way because life is so precious.”

[00:12:41] There is so much beauty out there. There is so much in terms of amazing relationships and what you can create. I don’t want to dwell in the bad stuff, which I do reflect on and learn from, but I use it to help me produce and to perform at a different level in my future or present.

[00:13:01] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, absolutely. When you talk about going from that scarcity, and then at least using food that’s within the expiration date, and I relate to a lot of this, by the way. How did you make that shift to abundance? Like for a lot of people out there, they’ll say, “You know, you tell me to be grateful. You tell me to see the abundance. I can’t see it.” It takes time. And what was that like for you? Because I think this is a critical piece, that we shift to, to the abundant mindset.

[00:13:31] Amy Novotny: Mhm. I had to change who I was around. So about three years ago, when I decided to start a business, I had just come off of a trip where I was hired by a world famous photographer to keep him out of a knee replacement surgery in a rotator cuff surgery. So I traveled all the way to the Arctic, to the Antarctic, and I decided to change my life up. Sold my house, started a business, and I started getting around groups of people who had an abundant mindset.

[00:14:01] And so I saw for the first time that rich people could be very nice. I saw that rich people could be very generous, and I saw these people and how they approached life. It was hard. My first ticket into this world costs me $700, which I had never even spent on a Continuing Education course. And that was for a three-day seminar.

[00:14:25] And it kicked me in the gut. I said, “Okay, I am going to have to learn how to change my mind and accept this.” But when I got around those people and I saw how they didn’t focus on the little things, they focused on what they could create and how they could help other people and provide value.

[00:14:43] And that’s when I started shifting and I realized there’s a lot of people out there. There’s a ton of nice people. They’re wealthy. There are some people that are nice that are not so wealthy. But it didn’t matter. And I saw the possibilities, and I started realizing this world is huge. And there is a, there are a lot of resources and there’s a lot of money out there.

[00:15:06] And if I just changed my mindset into really, how can I help other people? How can I use my unique talents, skills, and experiences to help other people? They’re going to pay me for that. Sometimes. They may not always, but if I have enough people around me who love me, I don’t have to worry about food on the table.

[00:15:27] I don’t have to worry about a roof over my head, because I can always reach out to people to learn and to grow. And I just, it shifted, but it truly was who I was around.

[00:15:39] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. And as you’re telling me that, one of the things that I feel is so important and, and whether it was organic or not, but this piece about being of service. Like to me, when we’re of service, when we’re out there actually thinking about how can I help other people, instead of how much money can I take from them, right?

[00:15:58] It’s when we’re of service and we’re, we’re out there. The abundance follows.

[00:16:05] Amy Novotny: Yeah.

[00:16:06] Bob Wheeler: I believe, I believe that the universe conspires with us and says, “Yeah, this is what it’s about. It’s about service. It’s about paying it forward. It’s about taking our own unique journey and then helping other people that, that need that lift, that, that weren’t able to get it,” or like we weren’t able to get at certain points.

[00:16:26] Amy Novotny: Absolutely. And I believe that what comes with that is giving our time to really listen to someone and to see what they need. And say, “How can I help that person, either through my time or something I’m going to do for them that makes their life easier?” And that’s part of, because that’s part of how I help people just in my business, is helping them distress and, you know, get out of pain.

[00:16:51] But how can I really take that edge so that they can calm down a little bit, so they can have just a little bit easier of a day? And if we can do that, it just shifts a person, it shifts a relationship.

[00:17:06] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. And you talk about how you help entrepreneurs be their peak selves through this work. Can you say a little bit more about that?

[00:17:13] Amy Novotny: Sure. So I help people calm down that fight or flight nervous system. If we think about all the stressors in our daily life: work, finances, relationships, interactions with our family, loved ones, or even colleagues. All of those stressors, start to ramp us up, put us on high alert. And you can feel when you’re kind of buzzed, you’re on edge. You’re just going.

[00:17:35] At a certain point though, our body starts to respond to that. Our muscles change. The way we hold our bones, the way we hold our joints, that all changes. And if you do that long enough, and it changes enough, you start to wake up and you may have some type of type of pain that turns into chronic pain, or you have stress or anxiety attacks.

[00:17:56] You start to lose focus, attention, creativity, imagination, because the more you go into that fight or flight mode in high alert mode, the more you take away from your creative juices and your ability to perform. And so I work with people to shift them out of that, out of that mode, out of that state. So they can come back down into this relaxation mode, this ability to create and feel energetic.

[00:18:21] We pull them back down into that. And a lot of it’s through how you position your body, how you breathe, and how you sense your muscles in your body. So I do that with Zoom, with people all over the world, so that they can perform at a higher level.

[00:18:37] And it sounds almost counterintuitive, because we think of a high energy state when we’re ramped up, but it actually takes away from your creativity. It takes away from your energy. So we have to pull you back down so you can perform better.

[00:18:48] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. And I want to say to the audience out there, in terms of fight or flight, for me, I was a slow learner. I just want to name that frozen, which I was for so many years, I kept going, “No, no, no. There’s a third one. Cause I’m frozen.” It’s really part of flight, because you’re just fleeing your body.

[00:19:06] But I think it’s so important for people to understand out there, because I come across this with people that are super successful. It was my entire life. I lived most of my life, for a long time, as everything was a measure of “this will kill me.” That everything was life or death. And so people out there, if you sometimes feel like it’s a life or death situation, you’re not alone in that. There are many, many people, because of prior trauma, because of past experiences. It’s real. It feels very real.

[00:19:38] And so, you don’t have to take yourself out. There are ways to get help. I just want to name though, you know, for years I kept going, “I’m not fighting and I’m not fleeing, I’m frozen!” And once I was able to actually learn to stay present and tolerate everything that was coming at me, life changed dramatically. And it is doable.

[00:19:58] So I just, this to me, this is such an important piece when you talk about fight or flight. Yeah.

[00:20:03] Amy Novotny: Yeah. And I’m glad that you mentioned that, because frozen is actually a state beyond fight or flight. It’s when your body can’t actually take action, you freeze. So when you’re in that frozen state, you have to actually break down even more to get to fight or flight, to get to parasympathetic relaxation.

[00:20:25] And it’s, it’s very, it’s very prevalent, and it depends on a person’s personality as well. That determines which of the states that you go in and how far you go into fight, flight, or freeze mode.

[00:20:39] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, I went through some pretty altered states, I will say, in some of the somatic work that I did. And I, and I want to talk to that. So you talk about how we can change our breathing techniques and our body position to help us gain control over our body again, and how we feel.

[00:20:56] Breathing, I think, is so underrated. It’s so powerful. And I mean, I’ve gotten into crazy altered states from just doing certain kinds of breathing and, and, and all that. So can you talk about this because this is really important, I feel.

[00:21:14] Amy Novotny: Sure. So there are a lot of different types of breathing techniques, breathwork out there, and they do different things.

[00:21:21] Now, one of the things that is a little bit different about what I do is, I include your body position with it. So there are different types of breathing, like Wim Hoff, box breathing, that work on just the breathing itself, but they don’t consider, what are you doing to your body?

[00:21:38] Now I, because I have a physiological background, I look at what is the position of your rib cage? Now, if you’re in that Superman posture where your chest is out, shoulders back, your gut is sucked up. What that does is it lifts up the front of your rib cage so that your back muscles now start to contract. So you’re basically hinging off your back, which stimulates your fight or flight nervous system.

[00:22:03] We all do that. When you think about when you’re really tired or sleepy, you stretch. You lift your chest up, you bring your arms back, you kick in your fight or flight nervous system to wake you up. Because you lift up your rib cage. We also do that when we are in our Superman posture for speaking to a crowd, if we’re lifting weights, we are taught to do that from very young. To stick your chest out, lift up your ribs.

[00:22:27] Now, when you do that, though, that lifts up your diaphragm and it makes you less accessible to your diaphragm. Your diaphragm is useless, because now your diaphragm’s lifted up. So when you breathe, then you have to lift up your ribs to breathe, which is going to put you in further fight or flight mode.

[00:22:46] So we have to do the opposite to calm you down. So, if we want to get you calm to conserve energy towards your mental processes, we have to drop your ribs down in front. So your diaphragm goes into a better position to work. And what that does is, it allows you to calm yourself down.

[00:23:04] It frees up all those tight muscles in your body and allows you to chill, which then shifts your energy away from holding you in tight mode. Into being able to create, be able to think differently, be able to rationalize, to analyze, but it’s very hard for people because it’s counterintuitive.

[00:23:23] So when I tell people, let your belly button fall out, when you blow out, most people think I’m absolutely crazy. But when they start to shift and do that, they can feel their ribs drop down, and all of a sudden they calm down. It’s really powerful.

[00:23:39] So if we combine how you position your body with your breathing, you can control your state, whether you want to be ramped up on high alert, which is great if you want to perform and be higher energy on stage. But then I say right afterwards, go curl up in a ball, sit, let your belly out and calm yourself down. Because we’re not made to be on high alert all the time.

[00:24:00] And full example of that is you can think about all the big animals in the animal kingdom, your dogs, your cats, all of those. Guess what? They’re curled up all day. And then when they want, when you come home, or an animal’s going after another animal, guess what? They stretch. They go on high alert. They take off. We need to look at that and actually model that because it would help us for our creation, our performance in our daily life.

[00:24:24] Bob Wheeler: Absolutely. And as you were talking about that, the other thing that animals do out there, animals that have been traumatized, they shake. Right? They shake everything off. They shake their trauma. And I, you know, one of the things that I liked when I was, when I was reading up on you and all that stuff is, you know, we do hold stuff in our body.

[00:24:41] We do hold trauma in our body. And we hold all of our, you know, “I’m not angry, I’m not, I’m fine. I’m not tense.” Right? And we’re, but we’re amplifying it within our body. And so, can you talk a little bit more about that, about, how we hold stuff? Physically?

[00:24:59] Amy Novotny: Absolutely. So whenever we have some type of stressor and there’s emotion tied to it, our body physiologically changes. So our muscles contract, without our awareness. If we don’t realize that and tell ourselves that we’re safe, the muscles stay in that contracted state. And it can happen in a short period of time. For instance, if you think about it, we’re sitting here talking, and all of a sudden we hear a gunshot go off.

[00:25:23] Our bodies are going to tense up. Now, until I tell myself I’m free and consciously say, “Let go,” our nervous system is saying, “Okay, we’re at a new state, we’re going to learn this and we’re going to keep it going.” So if we have something that happens to us where there’s a trauma, or something that’s really emotionally strong, and we go into a certain position, now our brain is going to recognize that as, “Okay. That’s the position to keep me safe when I’m emotionally in this state.”

[00:25:54] And some very common places are in our armpits, in our breastbone, below our breastbone, and in the front of our hips. Those are very common places where I see people hold trauma. And then we have to work on releasing that, to free them up from their body, their trauma, all of that.

[00:26:13] So often, people are, can be working with a therapist or a psychologist to free the mind. But if the body is still storing those emotions, it’s hard for them to truly clear so that they can be calm, productive, creative, individual again. So those areas are very common where we store it. We also store a lot of tension in our back, but that’s more because of how we position ourselves and how we move.

[00:26:40] Bob Wheeler: So the one thing that I want to say out there to people, and maybe you can address this, is that a lot of people have trauma they don’t even realize they have.

[00:26:50] Amy Novotny: Yes, yes..

[00:26:52] Bob Wheeler: Can you talk about that a little bit?

[00:26:54] Amy Novotny: Yes. Unfortunately, when we hear the word trauma, we think of it as something extremely severe, you know? Some type of abuse, some type of car accident, but there are other types of trauma in our lives like neglect.

[00:27:08] There are ways that people have spoken to us that can be traumatic to us. There are also times where people experience the trauma when they’re very young, that they block out because their body can’t function while remembering it. Their mind can’t function while remembering it. And I actually have several clients where they have this type of experience. That the event was so traumatic that in order to go through the day, they have to turn that off and not, not process it.

[00:27:40] And basically their body, their mind and their body has become frozen to that event. And so what happens is, as they’re going through their later life, they know there’s something nagging. They know that they’re not completely well adjusted and you know, can function in life. So they start going through some type of therapies. You know, psychological therapy.

[00:28:00] And it starts, they start to have flashbacks. And then what happens, is they realize what happened to them, but now their body may still be stuck, but their brain starts to realize, “Uh oh, this happened to me.” And so they’re working with a psychologist or psychotherapist, and then they’re often referred to me to free up the body, so that the mental and mind and emotional therapy that they’re undergoing can pair with the physical body that’s also freeing up at the same time, so they can move through the trauma that they had.

[00:28:32] So most of us have had some type of trauma in our life, but some people have that, that blockage that they have to unfreeze from as well.

[00:28:41] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. I just think it’s so important. I remember I was, years ago, I was, a friend took me to this body healer, body worker. And they said, “You’ve experienced an extreme amount of trauma.” And I’m like, “Oh, you’re crazy.” Right? And then later on, you know, as things weren’t working in my life, I kept, you know, what are, you know, “They didn’t know what they were talking about.” But they were so, sort of, specific.

[00:29:04] Then I got into somatic work, and I started Core Energetics and Radical Aliveness and doing all these different things that started awakening. And I, holy moly stuff started coming, and it was not necessarily pleasant to work through it, but it was so necessary. And I am so grateful for all the support that’s out there to actually push through that, because it does take support and it does take a willingness to be really uncomfortable to push through it.

[00:29:32] Amy Novotny: It is. And you said the perfect word, support. Once we find the right people to guide us to our next stage in life, as long as those people are great and they can support you, you can get through anything. You just need to make sure that you’re surrounding yourself with loving people who are ready for you to experience what you need to.

[00:29:54] And sometimes it can be scary to get to the next stage. And sometimes I have clients who, their arms will flail. Their head will jerk. Because they’re releasing something from their past, whether it was an abuse or a car accident or whatever it was, that their body needs to release by flailing, or they need to burst out crying or turn into a child.

[00:30:17] And if you have that support and you allow that person to go through it, they can shift and they can look back at it and say, “Okay, now I know what happened. I don’t have to live that anymore in my present time. I can move past it, but I can recognize what happened in the past.” And it’s such a beautiful journey for them. And they come out such an amazing transformation afterwards.

[00:30:42] And now look, I mean, look at you, you’re producing this. And you can talk about it and you can share your experience, but it’s not you living in that trauma now.

[00:30:51] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Now I want to take it back to you. You, when you found this, you took this trip, right? You spent the 700 bucks and all of a sudden you’re around all these new people with an abundant mindset, that offered support, that had a new way of thinking.

[00:31:06] These people that had success. And now that you’re experiencing success, is there a common denominator? Is there anything you notice like, people deserve, you know, people might think they’re worthy? Or is there something that you’ve observed? Because I know you’re a good observer, that you’ve noticed, “Oh, this is there’s a through line here.”

[00:31:27] Amy Novotny: It’s people who have a daily practice on their mindset. It’s not one you get to this point where you have an abundant mindset, you say, “Okay, I’m here. I have achieved it, ta da.” It’s every single day. You are these, every day, all these people are listening to this, to similar ideas of, “keep working at it. Keep focusing on action. Keep working on your personal development.”

[00:31:53] They’re listening to the podcasts. They’re reading books on how to continue to improve yourself, because those subconscious beliefs that we all developed when we were a kid and a child and an infant, they will rear their head, their head up and try to grab us and pull us back down again.

[00:32:09] And so all of these people, they’re constantly working, and working on mindset, working on calming themselves, working on growth. It is, it’s an, as I say, it’s a practice that’s never ending. And that’s what I see is different from certain people I associated with in the past. They said, “This is the way I am, I’m stuck here. Now I’m going to be this way as an adult.”

[00:32:33] And there wasn’t that growth. There wasn’t that continue practice of, “You know what? I’m going to have an abundant mindset. I’m going to produce. I’m going to provide value. I’m going to share. I’m going to give.” Very different.

[00:32:46] Bob Wheeler: Do the work people, it’s worth it. Do the work.

[00:32:51] So we are at our Fast Five. I’m going to shift the energy a little bit here. These are just some top of the mind questions. We’ll just have some fun. What was the very last purchase you made?

[00:33:00] Amy Novotny: Food! Food and a flight to get to Charleston.

[00:33:03] Bob Wheeler: Okay. Is spending money on something you really want generally a negative or positive experience for you?

[00:33:11] Amy Novotny: It’s positive because if I know I really want it, I will get it because it’s going to help my life and it’s going to make me happy in some way.

[00:33:18] Bob Wheeler: Yeah. What’s your favorite place or thing you’ve ever taken a photo of?

[00:33:24] Amy Novotny: An emperor penguin in Antarctica at the South Pole and the, near Snow Hill Island.

[00:33:31] Bob Wheeler: Oh my God, I’m so jealous. I want to go to the South Pole. That’s so awesome. Was it, was it, I’m sure it’s cold.

[00:33:37] Amy Novotny: Actually, unfortunately, this is bad. It was only 50 degrees out. It was, it was horrible. It should have been 15 degrees, but there’s changes in the climate. And I know some people don’t believe that, but I got to see it full hand, firsthand. I actually took off my parkas and laid down in the, on the ice, on the sea ice with the penguins because it was so, it was too warm for me.

[00:33:57] Bob Wheeler: Oh my gosh. Well, that’s so cool about the penguins. It’s terrible about the, the weather, but, I really want to go there. It’s so, what a, what a cool experience. What does financial success mean to you?

[00:34:11] Amy Novotny: It means that I have income coming in that supports my lifestyle and even some form of passive income coming in as well, so when I’m sleeping, I’m still making money. And the passive cashflow, the financial freedom that a lot of people work to achieve. So am I supporting my lifestyle and also bringing some income in while I sleep? So that’s my definition.

[00:34:37] Bob Wheeler: Awesome. Would you rather have a modest income at a job you enjoy or be wealthy, but work a job that stresses you out?

[00:34:45] Amy Novotny: The first. Absolutely a modest income at a job I enjoy. Absolutely, hundred percent. No regrets.

[00:34:52] Bob Wheeler: Life is precious, we should enjoy it.

[00:34:54] Amy Novotny: It is, it really is.

[00:34:58] Bob Wheeler: So we’re at our M & M Moment, our Sweet Spot, our Money and Motivation. Is there a practical financial tip or a piece of wealth wisdom that you could share with our audience?

[00:35:08] Amy Novotny: I would tell people, spend some money on your personal development. Meaning also getting around people who you enjoy, who you emulate, and who you want to help you grow, and that who you can give back to as well.

[00:35:25] Bob Wheeler: That’s awesome. Take that in people. So, you know, as we’re coming to the end here, one of the things that I’ve been very aware of, is that you’ve created an environment that feels very non-judgmental. It feels like there’s a safe space to be curious about where people are, and instead of trying to say, “oh, well, that’s wrong,” or, “here’s what we’ve got to fix,” it’s that willingness to say, “okay, here’s where you are. Here’s what we can do.”

[00:35:51] And, and then, and then letting people, be willing or not to, to make their transformation, with a lot of kind support. And, I mean, is that a fair statement? That, it, it, because it does feel important that there’s safety and non-judgment.

[00:36:08] Amy Novotny: That’s actually very true. Someone else actually commented on that about me as well. And it really is, because if I want to reach someone and really help them feel calm and learn what that feels like, I need to see them how they are. And there can’t be judgment with that. As soon as I judge someone, they’re going to put up barriers and they’re going to not tell me everything.

[00:36:29] And if they feel comfortable to really come to me and realize I’m just going to take it in, I know that their decisions, whatever they are, is what’s best for them at the time that they made those decisions. So if I can help them realize, you do have a safe space, that we can discuss things, and then we start to move forward. That’s how you can get someone to transform and truly transform for their life. Not just for the moment.

[00:36:55] Bob Wheeler: And I also am aware that there’s not a lot of blame. Like, I don’t hear blame about your past. I hear the experience. I don’t hear blame, and to me that’s so important as well that we, as much as we can, let go of the past and move forward. Like, what’s the saying? Everybody’s at fault, no one’s to blame? Something, something along those lines, but I really feel that place of, of just, this is what it is. And, and then, and then we move on.

[00:37:23] Amy Novotny: It is. I know that blame doesn’t serve us. It certainly doesn’t serve me. And as soon as I start blaming, then I’m not learning and I’m not taking what I needed to learn out of the lesson and the hardship that, or, you know, there was good times as well, but I want to move forward and take lessons from it. And I just, I know that people make decisions based on the best that they could at the time. And that’s kind of my motto with life.

[00:37:52] Bob Wheeler: Yeah, absolutely. And I, for me, I, when it comes to blame, I always ask people, what do I get to avoid feeling when I use blame? And try and bring it back to the personal.

[00:38:02] Amy Novotny: Absolutely it, you get to move forward, you get to take action, and you don’t have that negativity, which really doesn’t serve us.

[00:38:12] And I’m not a positive, positive, positive, positive all the time person. I’m pretty realistic. And I realize there’s negativity, but at the same time, I don’t want to dwell on it, because I know time is precious. Life is precious. Humans are precious.

[00:38:25] Bob Wheeler: Absolutely. Well, Amy, where can people find you on social media and online?

[00:38:31] Amy Novotny: Sure. They can reach me at my website, PABRinstitute.com. PABRinstitute.com. They can search me on all the different social media platforms, I’m out there. But most importantly, I’d love to hear from people. Relationships are precious to me, and so if they want to email me, amy@PABRinstitute.com. We can set up a call, a free consult, or even if they just want to tell me something and want me to write back, I am always willing to do that.

[00:38:58] Bob Wheeler: And I do want to tell people that it stands for Pain Awareness Breathing Relief, in case somebody is out there like me going, what does it mean? What does it mean? So that’s what it means. So I really encourage everybody to reach out to Dr. Amy, and, and transform their lives.

[00:39:16] I want to say to our audience, please don’t forget to share the love. Like, follow, and share on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Search for MoneyYouShouldAsk, all one word. Follow this podcast on your favorite podcast player and search for Money You Should Ask or click on the link in the description. If you’re watching this episode on YouTube, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe. For more tips, tools, or to learn how to have a healthy relationship with money, visit themoneynerve.com. That’s nerve, not nerd.

[00:39:40] Amy, it has just been such a pleasure. I’ve, it’s just, it’s just been awesome. Thank you so much for sharing a little bit about yourself and a little bit about what you bring to the world.

[00:39:49] Amy Novotny: Thank you so much for having me. It was truly an honor, all of your time. Thank you so much.